Pardon while I blather a bit. Again.
It seems to me that desire is like hunger. It’s at its peak when what I want is just out of reach. When I have it, sometimes I fail to realize what seemed exciting may be downright unhealthy.
So, at that point, do I let go and move on to something better for me, or keep trying to justify the choice? I have a tendency to hang onto unhealthy food — and unhealthy relationships — for way too long. I want to get better at letting go, and choosing better. Just gotta figure out how. And it’s tough when mentally I’ve made my choice, physically I’m acting on that choice, but emotionally, maybe even subconsciously, I’m still a bit stuck in old wants and needs.
Obviously, this post isn’t about food – though I have to admit I’ve struggled getting from 99% to 100% vegan.
I’ve just had some struggles really letting go of a doomed relationship.
My hope is that my wants will change. That I’ll develop a taste for what’s good for me. And I don’t think “trying” is how I can get there. But I am going to work on appreciation and gratitude. That I can be satisfied with my single life, while holding space and hope that something better will someday come along.