The Heart’s Desire

Pardon while I blather a bit. Again.

It seems to me that desire is like hunger. It’s at its peak when what I want is just out of reach. When I have it, sometimes I fail to realize what seemed exciting may be downright unhealthy.

So, at that point, do I let go and move on to something better for me, or keep trying to justify the choice? I have a tendency to hang onto unhealthy food — and unhealthy relationships — for way too long. I want to get better at letting go, and choosing better. Just gotta figure out how. And it’s tough when mentally I’ve made my choice, physically I’m acting on that choice, but emotionally, maybe even subconsciously, I’m still a bit stuck in old wants and needs.

Heh. So you probably know I’ve gone from “trying to eat more plants” to being 99% vegan. Obviously this post isn’t about food. Except cookies maybe — I do seem to have some struggles with those lately. I’ve just had some struggles really letting go of that doomed relationship.

My hope is that my wants will change. That I’ll develop a taste for what’s good for me. And I don’t think “trying” is how I can get there. But I am going to work on appreciation and gratitude. That I can be satisfied with my single life, while holding space and hope for the true partner that will someday come along.

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