Clear as Mud?

I finally found something Windows Vista is good for: A laugh! Vista Speech Recognition meets Mother Goose… Bored? Try reading Windows a few nursery rhymes or favorite quotes using the speech recognition tool. Here’s my favorite of the batch:

Little on the Market
Little bit map it
Alan socket,
Yellow cards and light;
Ireland in the spider
Batman forever
And write it was not back away.

Can you guess what that one was?

I’ve been working ALOT the past week and a half while I covered for a very important vacationing coworker. And my arms and wrists are starting to ache. Imagine my relief when I accidentally discovered that Vista has built in speech recognition software! And my surprise when, at least according to the tutorial, it worked quite well!

After inviting my kids to come witness my first attempts at having the computer type whatever I wanted to say, I quickly discovered the tutorial was a total sham; I should have taken a clue from the fact that it had a hard time understanding me when I said “Next” or “OKAYYYY!!”

But the rest of the text SEEMED so amazingly accurate! At least compared to the time we had Grandpa B try Dragon Naturally Speaking a decade ago. As I recall, the only thing it recorded accurately were his curses of frustration. He didn’t think it was nearly as funny as we did.

Anyway, I was amazed at the progress made in speech recognition over the past ten years, till I realized the tutorial knew exactly what I was going to say. I mean, it TOLD me what to say. Then it just typed what it expected to make itself look smart, or maybe to make me look stupid when I tried to wow the kids.

But that’s not to say it was a total waste of an evening. The kids and I decided to try its skills against Mother Goose. And here’s what turned out..

Continual Battle
Nobel! The tart and it all,
That are jumped over the Moon;
The little dart last
To the docs sports,
And the DS ran away with this bill.

Donald Byrd in its Ruling
That unless we’re in a tree,
Townsend and see what might be.
One foresaw a row
Super joint
Three were girl
Work for a blade;
The silver
Don Boris secret
That never been told

But I’d Like Steve
I’m not black sea,
Annual anymore?
Dexter, the answer,
Three banks will:

One woman master,
One woman team,
One of the little boy
Liz Donnelly

Littler Rule
Little Whitman, and will your horn;
The sheets and meadow, the council are worn.
Where will the way to look back and see?
In the event that, that that we.

Put the paparazzi that
But the bat was that when an event?
I’ve been to lending some of the queen.
20 that, but that, what you there?
I’ve written a little now under the care.

Say what?
Whoever guesses all these first should get a prize. Because as Vista would put it, “Vulcan fortunes, and I’m looking man, corn with these Poland’s back together again.”

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