Breaking 💔

Feebs and I had a vet visit today. She had a hard lump in her chest. I’d read about fatty lumps, and this was not squishy like the online stuff said it would be. They biopsied it and it was just hard fat. Thank goodness. I was terrified of the idea of my dog having cancer.

But I did get bad news about her heart. Another vet had picked up a Grade 4 heart murmur out of the blue earlier this year. She wanted to do an x-ray; I wanted a second opinion: Feebs was acting fine and had just had an x-ray (for several hundred dollars less, I might add) a few months before. I had the previous x-ray sent in, in and really didn’t hear more about that. It looked normal. I let it slip my mind.

Today, it was a Grade 6 murmur. Whatever she’s got, it’s gotten a lot worse.

I knew when I adopted an older dog that she’d be facing health problems and letting go within a few years. I remind myself all the time that this is what I signed up for. That doesn’t make it easier.

She’s still got time. We can do tests that may help give us a clear picture of how long she’s got left and what if anything can be done. But the doctor also gently pointed out that with her being an older dog (her life expectancy is 10-12 years old; she’s pushing 11), especially one who gets extremely stressed at the vet, I may opt out of testing and intervention and just let her enjoy what’s left. Hard choices. I won’t make them yet. Today I’m just going to enjoy her company and give her lots of scratches and hugs.