Ethanisms

Ethan doesn’t end up in the spotlight so much as his sister does, and the things he says have a definitely different quality to them. Not so much funny “hah hah” but funny that it’s coming from an 8 year old. It’s not “cute” per se, but a little surprising anyway.

Today I’ve been working on a hands-on homework project but came to the computer to get the phone. And ended up checking twitter. And my email. And a little facebook too. I was in the zone, scrolling through status updates when Ethan goes, “Looks like you’ve dozed off there, Mom.” Me: “Hmm?” He turns, pointing to my unfinished project and goes, “That’s due Thursday.” How bad is it when my kid has to tell me to get on to my homework?

The second example needs a little back story. Mary had been cleaning the countertop while I was serving dinner, and apparently ended up getting a little soap on one of her vegetables. This happened when my back was turned, and Ethan was just now pulling up a chair.

“Mary, you won’t eat that much food. That’s Ethan’s plate.”
“But I don’t want My plate.”
“Why?”
“Because I got some soap on one of my vegetables, and I can’t remember which one.” At least she’s honest.. now..
“So you’d feed it to your brother?!”
“Well -I- didn’t want it!”
“Haven’t we talked about the golden rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you? Would you want Ethan to give you a soapy veggie to eat?”
(tears have been flowing since she was found out.) “No!”
“Then don’t treat your brother that way!”
“Ok. I’m sorry Ethan…”

We were quickly able to find the soapy veggie and get on with life. So we were moving along with dinner when Mary piped up, “Why do they call it the “Golden” rule anyway?”

Ethan decided to answer, “Because gold is one of the most precious things in the world, and this rule is one of the most precious rules in life, because it helps everyone be happier.” I chewed my food with raised eyebrows and nodded. Then he added, “But I’m really not sure why they don’t call it the Platinum rule.”

I never would have put any salt into that birth order thing before I had kids, but if mine are like most, I can definitely see where they came up with the idea.