It’s already circulated through the family, but for the sake of future blackmail, I’ll record it here too. Mary was at the bottom of the stairs, chewing on something. Seeing her dinner still untouched, I asked what she was eating. I already knew the answer. I’ve tried so many ways to confront her nose-picking in the past, but I felt like maybe it was time for a new approach.
As though she hadn’t realized it before, she suddenly shouted, “A BOOGER! Ewe! YUCK! GET IT OUT!” and ran to me crying hysterically. Now I have all the sympathy of a mother, but the girl’s got to accept some responsibility. The conversation that ensued:
“Mary, why did you eat a booger if you think it’s gross?”
“Because YOU made me too hungry!”
“If you’re hungry why didn’t you eat the dinner I made for you?”
“Well YOU didn’t make my Favorite food.”
“And so you ate a booger?”
“GET IT OUT!”
“Now Mary. I want to help you, but you need to realize something. Whose nose is that booger from?”
“Mine..”
“Who picked it out?”
“I did..”
“And who put it in your mouth?”
“I did it.”
“So whose fault is it that you have a booger in your mouth now?”
“Mine.. sorry for yelling, momma”
…
For a short moment I felt like a highly effective parent. But as she walked away, she shook her head and muttered, “I should have put sprinkles on it first.”
Side note that won’t need a whole story of its own: We finally figured out why Mary’s toenails grow so slowly. She bites them… :-0
Legend of Velda 
That’s hysterical! My E. bites her toenails too, and no amount of talking can stop it.
LikeLike