Finding the one…

People say dating is hard work. I’ve got mixed feelings on the matter. Going out with good friends to do fun things, enjoy each other’s company, and have a fantastic evening? That isn’t hard at all, and it’s because I don’t have lofty expectations tied to those events.

Trying to find the right relationship? Now that can be rough.

I saw this one facebook today, and frankly I found it frustrating, both because I absolutely understand the sentiment and have experienced it much myself, and because I think it’s dead wrong:


The easy part of life is finding someone to love. The hard part is finding someone to love you back.


Love? Love is easy! It is easy to love others, and I daresay I’m lovable too. Lust? Sparkles? Fireworks? Butterflies? I honestly don’t think they are that hard to come by, either. I just don’t feel terribly comfortable trusting those feelings until I know the relationship is right for me.

Why do you love me?  My heart never gave me a choice.  I wish it had.

I am more than confident in my ability to -generate- sparks, though. I love sparks and I know how to let them fly! I just don’t believe in employing that particular skill set without an appropriate level of commitment. Maybe I’m doing it wrong, but for now, that is what I am doing.

What is hard? Trying to identify “the one” and successfully being “the one” for that person. THAT is the challenge. THAT is where the minefield of heartbreaks lie. That is where the real work is required. What’s more: all that hard work doesn’t come an end at the wedding. Even in the best of marriages, these attributes of kindness, patience, respect, forgiveness, hard work, diligence, faithfulness, service, generosity etc… are ALL required to maintain a relationship that is worth having. All of these, when combined, have the potential to create the kind of everlasting love I want.

This quote is taken entirely out of context, but it stood out to me anyhow, so I shall share it. President Monson had a few comments before his talk at the First Presidency Christmas Fireside this year that stuck with me he. He was talking about his counselors, but I couldn’t help but compare his comment to my ongoing search:

I prayed mightily. There were many who could serve. All had ability. I knew some better than others. But I waited til the Lord told me in spirit who should serve by my side.

So I’m waiting, patiently, pressing forward as well as I know how, and hoping for the day the Lord will confirm to both of us that we are indeed the ones who should serve by each other’s sides.

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